|
|
Post by snoolli on Dec 4, 2006 21:04:14 GMT -5
You´re talking rubbish, girl. All we need is a pint and several episodes of Scrubs. Sarcasm at its best. Season 6 just started and it is still as brilliant as ever. I know. They just can´t fail. |
|
|
|
Post by snoolli on Dec 4, 2006 21:06:58 GMT -5
Here´s a note I received some weeks ago.
If you haven´t seen this before, then you better read it.
Dear Alcohol,
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls:While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-girlfriends/boyfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3 pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products,
aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3 pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan...
P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
|
|
|
|
Post by snoolli on Dec 5, 2006 22:13:21 GMT -5
I found this clip few months ago. A guy tries the "supersize me" thing, like in the docimentary which another guy tried to live on only fast food for thirty days, except this one is not gonna go with McDonalds, but with whiskey. I get the feeling it´s fake, and it probably is. But I still find it funny. www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbnKOysbtic |
|
|
|
Post by lua on Dec 12, 2006 17:54:20 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Dan on Dec 21, 2006 6:45:56 GMT -5
best.thread.ever!
|
|
|
|
Post by snoolli on Dec 21, 2006 13:49:48 GMT -5
It sure is a good one, and we´ll have to keep it alive! Com´on!
|
|
Rodney
New Member
Raise Your Skinny Fists.
Posts: 44
|
Post by Rodney on Dec 22, 2006 15:09:14 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by snoolli on Jan 25, 2007 7:56:05 GMT -5
We´re not laughing anymore.
|
|
|
|
Post by lua on Jan 25, 2007 21:29:17 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by lua on Jan 25, 2007 21:30:09 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by lua on Jan 25, 2007 21:31:02 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by lua on Jan 25, 2007 21:33:53 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by lua on Jan 25, 2007 21:36:00 GMT -5
We´re not laughing anymore. how about now? |
|
|
|
Post by lovelymetaphors on Jan 27, 2007 2:10:04 GMT -5
lua here to save the day :-p
|
|
|
|
Post by snoolli on Jan 27, 2007 8:34:26 GMT -5
Pretty good.
|
|
